i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
