Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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