Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
