I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
