Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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