addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
These tits shall not be calmed
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
