And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
And then my night got REAL pukey
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
