That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
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