So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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