So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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