I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
