3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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