What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
