remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
