Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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