Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
