Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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