brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
