He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
