Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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