maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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