yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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