and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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