I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
