If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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