I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
