Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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