he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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