The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
