I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
