Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
This gyro tastes like lonliness
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
