Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
the condom got lost in my hair
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
