white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Hippo gnu deer
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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