so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
