just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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