I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
