this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
