the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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