remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
no you cant smoke seaweed
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
