its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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