Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
