my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
