you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I party with great urgency now.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
