road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Thank you for not boning my boss.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
