I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
