That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
