so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
