He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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