so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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