i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
