It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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