We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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