its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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